November 1, 2018
From ending to new beginning
1. Ending – Unsure to stay or leave? Is your fear of leaving the overriding factor for staying? Do you wish you were out of the relationship, dread going home, hoping your partner would leave? Find out how to organise leaving with a Separation Specialist.
2. Planning – It is advisable to do some basic homework prior to saying, “It’s over”. You do not need to be a detective or snoop, most of the information is everyday banking, super and valuations. Securing funds, pins and passwords should also be considered.
3. Break-up – Face-to-face can cause more pain and sorrow, you may also be talked back into staying. A letter followed by a discussion allows the other party privacy to retain dignity and overcome the shock. There is no right or wrong way, your ex-partner’s personality will have some bearing.
4. Legal advice – You do not require a legal bulldog, the law has a list of questions which determines your outcome. Choose the most sensible lawyer and work quickly to find a settlement.
5. Negotiating – Even amicable couples find it uncomfortable and difficult to negotiate who keeps what, what’s fair, sharing assets and liabilities. An independent mediator or separations specialist will help keep discussions civil. Compromising is not giving in, it’s getting out.
6. Legal paperwork – Handshakes are not enough, work with lawyers who will draft your negotiated agreement without derailing the outcome you have worked hard to reach.
7. New Beginning – It is ONLY a break-up, it is not a terminal illness, it is an ending but also a beginning. If your partner had died you would have to face the future without them, better to be with someone you love and who loves you than in an unhappy relationship, the world is your oyster, make plans.
The common questions we get asked are:
- Do I need a solicitor?
- How much will this cost?
- How can I get this sorted out?
- How long is this going to take?
- Will I be financially alright?
The fear factor
Feeling completely in the dark with no-one to show you the way, can result in the ‘fear factor’:
- Fear of the financial situation
- Fear of where to live
- Fear of solicitor and court costs
- Fear of breaking up the family
- Fear of being on your own
The good news
The good news is everyone does get through to the other side. How quickly you recover from the experience will depend on:
- Mindset – Picture the things you would like to do once this is behind you
- Compromise – Reduces the time spent in your separation
- Open mind – Think of alternative solutions if plan ‘a’ isn’t possible
- Language – Watch your words, they can change the whole dynamics
- Communication – Keep communications civil and respectful
Act4tomorrow is dedicated to providing you the best support, we will get you through this emotional roller coaster as cost effectively as possible. Founded to be a better way to separate, divorce and handle children’s matters. For a free initial consultation call the team 1300 Act4Tom (1300 228486).
Married, Defacto, Same-sex couples Australia wide and Australians overseas.