Having good boundaries in all key areas of your life is one of the best ways for you to be happy and healthy.
Most women struggle with having good boundaries and when you don’t have them it means that people don’t really know how to treat you. It can mean that they take advantage of you and this can leave you feeling resentful, frustrated, angry and used.
We all need to have boundaries but depending on what happened to you in the past when you expressed them, can now cause you to react the same way today as an adult.
Boundaries are needed so that you can survive and stay safe but remember not to use anger or being a victim to express yourself or feel heard. This leads to unhappy relationships and can cause you health issues, physical pain, emotional stress and burnout.
Having clear boundaries is about saying what you want and making your own decisions. Boundaries give you choice. They allow you to leave work on time or close your office door when you choose and then not answer the phone for the rest of the day if it’s to do with work.
When you are aware that your boundaries need to be improved it’s the first step to taking action. It can take practice to start saying no to people when they ask you to do something you don’t want to do, so be patient with yourself.
Expressing your Boundaries can also be unconscious and you don’t even know you are acting in certain ways to get what you want.
Being unable to express what you really want clearly can cause many unwanted emotions. Sometimes these emotions lie dormant within you until one day you reach your limit and break and this is happening in many women’s lives.
If you are struggling with your boundaries write down
” What happened to me the first time I said no?
” Was it a positive or a negative outcome?
” What did I need from that person at the time but I didn’t get?
” What am I needing from people today when I say yes but really want to say no?
” Am I used to people treating me a certain way and I don’t want that to change?
” Do I say Yes to everyone and I’ve made it easy for other people to give me the things they don’t want to do themselves?
Many women feel guilty saying no. When you’re a Giver and you spend your time caring too much for other people it can become a problem as you tend to give into them or cater to their needs and you end up feeling drained and resentful. When this continues for a long period of time anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt etc. can begin to build in your body and then the pain can start to show.
When you are giving too much to others it can be because you have low confidence or self-esteem and its these things that need to be worked on so you step into being your authentic self and being the amazing women, you are meant to be.
Today’s top tip – just gently start to watch yourself and see if you have clear boundaries.
” Ask yourself what do I really want in this situation?
” What is the best outcome for me?
” Did I let my boundaries down without really thinking about what I want?
Setting boundaries will give you great confidence, you will feel respected and you will be much happier every day. I offer 5 free consultations a week so if you would like to speak to me in private so you can be healthy, happy and abundant book HERE.
Ann Noler Harris
The Body & Animal Whisperer